When you mess up a lot, you have to learn how to apologize, and apologize quickly. No one knows this better than I do, for I find myself constantly apologizing for the dumb things I can't seem to stop doing. So when Gawker asked us each to pick our biggest hero of 2013, who better than Shia LaBeouf himself, The Greatest Apologizer Of Our Time? Not only did he have to apologize for his initial plagiarism, he then had to apologize for plagiarizing his apology, and follow it up with multiple apologies about the manner in which he apologized. He is a cannibalistic tapeworm of regret, and god bless him, because it has taken some of my mom's heat off of me—at least until his PR flack takes away his Twitter feed, anyways.
I fucked up.
— Shia LaBeouf (@thecampaignbook) December 17, 2013
It starts with this...I'm sorry @danielclowes
— Shia LaBeouf (@thecampaignbook) December 18, 2013
I want to thank all of you who have written in and created groups and protested. Even though I wish I hadn't made so many of you angry.
— Shia LaBeouf (@thecampaignbook) December 19, 2013
I did not intend to hurt or offend anyone with my choice of words, but clearly I have - and for that I am deeply sorry. Words are important.
— Shia LaBeouf (@thecampaignbook) December 20, 2013
I made a hurtful and thoughtless comment on Sunday when I said that "I wanted my life back."
— Shia LaBeouf (@thecampaignbook) December 23, 2013
I was alone in a very dangerous situation, I tried to control myself and not show the world what was going on. I am very sorry.
— Shia LaBeouf (@thecampaignbook) December 25, 2013
Personal beliefs aside I realize, some will interpret this as me mocking the rituals and traditions of others, not the case, I am very sorry
— Shia LaBeouf (@thecampaignbook) December 26, 2013
More Gawker heroes: Ken Layne on Pope Francis, Hamilton Nolan on Subway Brie Man, Cord Jefferson on Vanessa Van Dyke, Rich Juzwiak on Kanye West, Camille Dodero on Antoinette Tuff, J.K. Trotter on Erik Wemple, Adam Weinstein on Alice Munro, Taylor Berman on Anthony Graves, Beejoli Shah on Shia LaBeouf, Caity Weaver on Beyoncé Selfie Perfect Teen, Sam Biddle on Josh Tetrick, Lacey Donohue on Wendy Davis, Tom Scocca on Ai Weiwei, Max Read on @Dril, and John Cook on Rob Ford.